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“Pumpkin Spice toilet paper and toilet bowl cleaner; you don’t have to thank us.”
“Oh, we’re wearing white after Labor Day, and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it.”
“It’s officially the end of summer when Brenda gets pool noodles for 70% off.”
“Believe it or not, Melissa, Dad and I are unable to drop everything to accommodate you. Wait for it; we have plans.”
“When they say, ‘It’s all good,’ they’re lying.”
“When sharks verbally attack.”
“Lettuce is a no-go. So I’m making this grass clippings slaw.”
“I know we’re in the backyard, but I told the Murphys we went to Costa Rica.”
“We melted every cheese we had in the fridge and added a little pepperoni. Take one before I drop the tray.”
“When Maxine learned lipstick has a melting point of 130 degrees Fahrenheit, she finally believed in climate change.”
